Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
6:44 pm
Fri January 18, 2013

Panel Round Two

Originally published on Tue January 22, 2013 12:19 pm

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Peter Grosz and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl finally admits that his girlfriend Rhymee-ah Limerickua was in fact a hoax.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But we'll make it up to you with a listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Mo, a young couple who met on Facebook, fell in love and got married are divorcing, after they each discovered that what was just not enough to base a marriage on.

MO ROCCA: Oh, geez, what did they find - did they find via Facebook that they shared something?

SAGAL: Yeah, well it was actually something that was very easy for them to search for on Facebook.

ROCCA: They had the same name.

SAGAL: They had exactly the same name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: And then they did the genealogy thing and found out they were brother and sister.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Three years ago...

PETER GROSZ: They invited one set of parents to the wedding.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Oh my god.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: What's going on?

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Cheaper wedding.

SAGAL: No, three years ago Kelly Hildebrandt did what any single person does to find a date, she searched for her own name on Facebook.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And so Kelly Katrina Hildebrandt met Kelly Carl Hildebrandt. They talked, they fell in love and they got married. It was magical, and just like Brangelina or Bennifer, they were known by their celebrity couple name: Kelly Hildebrandt

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They even thought of having children. If it was a boy, they'd name him Kelly. If it was a girl, they'd name her Kelly. Basically, anything that emerged from her body, they'd call Kelly.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: They'd only wear Kelly Green.

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROCCA: Gosh they were - wow, that's freaky. I thought it was just going to be the same last name.

SAGAL: No, the same name. They thought this was adorable and they...

ROXANNE ROBERTS: See, this is the problem with unisex names.

ROCCA: And would her name then, to keep her own identity be Kelly Hildebrandt Hildebrandt?

SAGAL: Well, you know, this is an enlightened age.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: That's true.

SAGAL: They would both change their last name.

ROCCA: Oh, so Kelly Hildebrandt Hildebrandt.

SAGAL: So they would both be Hildebrandt Hildebrandt.

ROCCA: Oh god, the children would then be Kelly Hildebrandt Hildebrandt Hildebrandt Hildebrandt Jr.

SAGAL: Yeah, combining them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or if you used the mother's name as the middle name, it'd be...

GROSZ: Kelly Hildebrandt.

SAGAL: Kelly Hildebrandt Hildebrandt Hildebrandt Hildebrandt.

ROCCA: This is where you need exponents. Exactly, that's why.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kelly Hildebrandt IV, yeah.

GROSZ: Kelly squared Hildebrandt.

ROCCA: Squared, yeah, exactly.

SAGAL: So have you guys ever done this? Have you ever Googled your own - I mean or searched on Facebook for anybody of your own name?

GROSZ: Not on Facebook. I've done it. There's like an old German aviation expert named Peter Grosz.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GROSZ: And sometimes - I've gotten a message on Facebook once that was like "are you this Peter Grosz? Are you the German aviation expert?"

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: You mean the 95-year-old guy who died like seven years ago? I am.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Peter, do not be alarmed but officials at Chicago O'Hare airport insist there's nothing suspicious or weird about the container they x-rayed as it went through customs and they discovered what?

GROSZ: Rick Bayless.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Human body part of some kind.

SAGAL: Yes.

GROSZ: Let's start at the top, a head.

SAGAL: Yes. Eighteen human heads.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

GROSZ: Oh, OK.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GROSZ: So 18 human, so just like a nice small piece of luggage.

SAGAL: Yeah. Now, before anybody panics, these were medical specimens. Either that or 18 people signed up for the world's worst discount vacation package.

GROSZ: Now those heads may not have been severed. They may have just fallen off without being severed.

SAGAL: That's true.

GROSZ: You know, like hair falls out.

SAGAL: That's true.

GROSZ: Sometimes the heads fall out.

SAGAL: It's extreme male pattern baldness.

GROSZ: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I'm assuming they were all in individual hatboxes.

SAGAL: One would hope. Maybe they signed up for a tour. It's like you all get to go to Chicago for 50 bucks a head. People were like...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Sounds good.

ROCCA: Wait, can you go back a little bit?

SAGAL: All right.

ROCCA: I'm feeling a little confused about this story. Somebody was going to the airport with a bunch of heads.

SAGAL: No, what happened was, as you know...

ROBERTS: Well, yes, actually.

SAGAL: Freight comes through customs when it comes off an international flight. These heads were coming from Italy to apparently some sort of medical facility in...

ROCCA: Oh, how stylish.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: They probably had beautiful hair.

SAGAL: Oh, absolutely.

GROSZ: I thought someone was like checking in and was like putting their stuff through and like...

ROCCA: Yeah, through the scanner.

SAGAL: It's awful...

GROSZ: Put your shoes and your laptops and your heads in different boxes.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Each head has to go in its own tray, please.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Don't you hate that, when you're in line behind somebody and you're late for your flight and they're unpacking all their human heads, one by one on the...

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: There should be a lane that's just the human head lane.

ROCCA: Yeah, a head lane. And if any of them had earrings that was going to be a problem, right?

SAGAL: I know.

ROBERTS: Does this happen a lot?

SAGAL: Yeah, apparently, heads are like standard medical stuff, because they're used for like the practice of dentistry. They practice, dental surgeons practice on heads. They're used for dissection.

GROSZ: Juggling.

SAGAL: Juggling.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're very good...

ROBERTS: What do they cost?

ROCCA: You should be able to take them onboard and put them in the overhead.

SAGAL: You'd think.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: I mean it only makes sense.

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