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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
Fri September 7, 2012
Panel Round Two
Originally published on Sat September 8, 2012 11:24 am
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm legendary anchorman Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell.
KURTIS: We're playing this week with Jessi Klein, Tom Bodett, and Paula Poundstone. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill violates Starfleet's Rhyme Directive in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, the Bic Company, makers of disposable razors and pens, has gotten a lot of attention recently, over a somewhat controversial new product. What is it?
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Give me a hint because I got no idea.
SAGAL: Well, the ink is strong enough for a man, but.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, they're making deodorant.
SAGAL: They don't make deodorant.
POUNDSTONE: I don't. The ink is? I don't know.
SAGAL: It's a pen that they're making, a disposable pen, like they always make.
SAGAL: It's made for a particular group of people.
POUNDSTONE: It's a pen for women.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It's called the New Bic "For Her" Pen.
POUNDSTONE: Oh geez.
SAGAL: Now what's happened is reviewers on Amazon got a hold of this and they've been posting these reviews. For example, user Rachel Parris says.
KURTIS: "I thought it was a kitten then some words came out. Wonderful.
SAGAL: And this from a reviewer named...
SAGAL: This one is from a reviewer on Amazon named E. Bradley.
KURTIS: "The delicate shape and pretty pastel colors make it perfect for writing recipe cards, and tracking my monthly cycle."
POUNDSTONE: Oh my god.
POUNDSTONE: I hope they'll include my submission, which is "I use it to induce vomiting and I don't even have to stick it down my throat."
JESSI KLEIN: Oh no.
POUNDSTONE: That's horrible.
SAGAL: Jessi, we always follow the adventures and exploits of manly Russian President Vladimir Putin. Well this week he outdid himself when he did what?
KLEIN: Oh. First of all, let me say that I've looked into his eyes.
SAGAL: Yes, you saw his soul.
KLEIN: And I saw his soul.
KLEIN: And it's so (bleep).
KLEIN: This is what he did. Well, he actually did two things, but the thing I think you're referring to is he got on a hang gliding thing.
KLEIN: Like a bird, to guide some cranes to their nest to the wild.
SAGAL: Yes, that's what he did.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
KLEIN: Because he's so caring.
SAGAL: He dressed up like an adult endangered Siberian white crane.
SAGAL: Then he got into one of these ultra light planes and he tried to lead a flock of orphaned cranes on their migration so they could learn the route.
KLEIN: I feel like until you confirmed I was right, everyone's like "Jessi's having a stroke."
SAGAL: He did this. There are photographs, he did this. It's amazing. Putin is dressed all in white to look like a crane. He flew this plane, you know, the cranes are behind him. Unfortunately, on the first try, only one young crane decided to follow the weird guy in the white crane suit, so Putin had the rest of them jailed.
SAGAL: Tom, the party conventions, of course, sent the fact-checkers into high gear, and one thing we learned is that GOP Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan absolutely did not tell the truth last week about what?
TOM BODETT: Well, to narrow it down to just one thing...
BODETT: It would be - probably what you're asking about is his marathon time.
SAGAL: Exactly right, his marathon time.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Paul Ryan, who is as the most physically fit politician since He-Man, City Councilman of the Universe was on a radio show and said he ran a quote, "two hour and fifty something" minute marathon, unquote. Turns out, Mr. Ryan has run only one marathon, and he ran it in a little over four hours. Now...
SAGAL: ...for those of you who do not run marathons, the difference between running one in four hours and running it in three is like the difference in getting a 2400 on your SATs and being able to spell S-A-T.
BODETT: Well, he totally lost the runners' vote.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know.
BODETT: I have to say that his excuse is rather plausible, that it'd been so long and he doesn't really pay any attention to it and that he couldn't remember what his time was what he - what he said is I threw out what I thought was a normal time.
BODETT: And really not knowing that 2:50 was like a completely killer time. And I get that. I mean although I'm married to a woman who runs marathons, so I would have known the difference. But if I wasn't married to a woman who runs marathons, I probably wouldn't.
POUNDSTONE: OK, but he ran the marathon.
SAGAL: That's the thing.
BODETT: But like 20 years ago.
SAGAL: I run marathons, and everybody I know who runs marathons is incredibly vain about their time.
SAGAL: Or ashamed of it, but they know it.
KLEIN: Yeah, you get obsessed with it.
SAGAL: That's like the whole point.
KLEIN: That's to me like I - like I'm still very obsessed with what I got on my - you brought up SATs. Because when you take your SAT, you're obsessed with it.
KLEIN: So I will never forget what I scored on my SAT - 1180 the first time, 1310 the second time.
BODETT: Well then, here you go.
KLEIN: I didn't study hard enough the first time and then I studied harder.
BODETT: I don't remember my SAT score. And if you ask me what it is, I might through one out that seems normal, like...
BODETT: I think, yeah, I probably got like a 2300, you know. You know, I don't...
SAGAL: It's like, oh, I don't know how I did in school. I got like - what do they call those - a Nobel Prize.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.