Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
7:00 pm
Fri August 10, 2012

Panel Round Two

Originally published on Sat August 11, 2012 11:07 am

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Roy Blount Jr., Amy Dickinson, and Tom Bodett. And, here again is your host, at the Merrill Auditorium in Portland, Maine, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl says brother can you spare a rhyme in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

DEVON MOORE: Tom, there's a high-profile trial going on in Moscow right now. An all-girl punk band that was protesting Putin has been accused of blasphemy against the Orthodox Church. But it's forcing journalists from around the world to have to do what?

TOM BODETT: Eat borsch.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Learn Russian.

SAGAL: No. I'll just tell you. The story is forcing journalists to say the words "Pussy Riot," which is the name of the band. It's made for some of the most uncomfortable newsroom moments since word broke that Mitt Romney was considering Harry Johnson as his running mate.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So you get to hear a bunch of otherwise...

ROY BLOUNT JR: Oh god.

SAGAL: ...staid and somber newscasters sound like this.

REPORTER: The band calls itself Pussy Riot. Here's what they did that caused all the fuss.

All girl group known as Pussy Riot face up to seven years in jail time.

But Pussy Riot's legal team is cautious.

This is Pussy Riot.

Five members of Pussy Riot stormed in...

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

Pussy Riot.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Well, you know it's remarkable, now that you play that, I don't know how I missed that story.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Actually, just to be clear, NBC's Brian Williams, who you heard in the middle of that, was not actually talking about this story, he was describing his awesome Spring Break this year.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Amy, despite a largely successful diplomatic mission in Malawi, in Africa, it's being reported that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was chased onto her plane and then out of the country by what?

AMY DICKINSON: It has to have been insects.

SAGAL: Yes. A swarm of bees.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to local news reports - yes, applaud the bees - in Malawi, a giant swarm of bees showed up at the airport and chased Secretary Clinton and her entourage onto her plane. We thought we Americans would be greeted as liberators by the bees, but we should have known...

DICKINSON: Is this going to come up later, like the stories about Kosovo when she was, you know, under fire?

SAGAL: And she was saying, oh...

DICKINSON: This might come up later.

BODETT: But this one really happened.

SAGAL: In reverse of the situation, they're denying it happened. The report is now being denied by the State Department's Office for Taking the Fun Out of Everything.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They don't dispute that there were bees at the landing strip, just that there was any panic or fleeing on the secretary's part. They say that Secretary Clinton simply destroyed the bees with her steely gaze.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She can shoot lasers when she gets mad enough.

DICKINSON: There's a reason you wear a comfortable pantsuit and sensible shoes.

SAGAL: Yes.

DICKINSON: That's all I'm going to say.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: However, because of this incident, she has decided to never again wear the pantsuit with the broad black and yellow stripes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She's not going to do that anymore. Tom, every four years we get to learn something about the techniques and otherworldly training of athletes in the Olympic Games. Well, this time around Michael Phelps confirmed a rumor about the Olympic swimmers, that they do what?

BODETT: Is it the bong therapy?

SAGAL: No, it is not the bong therapy.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: I'll need a hint.

SAGAL: Well, you'd be angry at your kids if they did this.

JR: I bet.

DICKINSON: It keeps the pool warm.

(LAUGHTER)

JR: I knew a man who had possums, who had possum shows and he said the "O" in possum is silent.

SAGAL: I'm sorry. Did you say he had what?

JR: Possum shows.

SAGAL: He had possum shows?

JR: Yeah, opossum shows. And he said the "O" in possum is silent. Like the "P" in swimming.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: I'm going to take that as a hint.

(APPLAUSE)

JR: I'm just guessing.

BODETT: So they pee in the pool.

SAGAL: They pee in the pool.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That's what Michael Phelps said.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Apparently, pool urination is one of the annoying necessities of elite level swimming, like full-body shaving or Ryan Lochte.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Phelps told the Wall Street Journal - the Wall Street Journal - quote, "It's kind of a normal thing to do for swimmers. When we're in the water for two hours, we don't really get out to pee." And, quote, "Chlorine kills it so it's not too bad." People have dealt with this news with some equanimity. But one big Olympic merchandising idea has now been cancelled. No more Olympic Pool Spring Bottled Water.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: If they put that chemical in the pool that turns blue when they pee, that'd be kind of cool in those freestyle things.

SAGAL: It'd just be like waves of blue.

BODETT: It'd be like jet streams, jet trails.

(LAUGHTER)

JR: It'd be great TV.

SAGAL: The problem really isn't the swimmers - I mean, those guys are in there for hours at a time during training - but all the other athletes who do the same thing. It's like, Usain Bolt, what are you doing near the pool?

DICKINSON: Why are you in the pool?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Rafalca, bad horse.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.