Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
12:00 pm
Sat November 5, 2011

Opening Panel Round

Originally published on Sat November 5, 2011 10:47 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, host: Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Kyrie, this week in Colorado, there's outrage after yet another performance enhancing drug scandal. The winner of what competition has tested positive for a banned substance?

KYRIE O'CONNOR: It'll be one of those cup stacking things or...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

O'CONNOR: Not the thing where you pack the grocery bags.

SAGAL: No.

O'CONNOR: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: It ate a can of banned substances and then ate the can.

O'CONNOR: A goat.

SAGAL: A goat.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Colorado State Fair champion goat, no less.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It shouldn't be surprising it's come to this. Said on journalist, quote, "The Colorado State Fair is basically the Tour de France for goats."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: What do they do?

O'CONNOR: Wow.

POUNDSTONE: What's the competition?

SAGAL: Well, you know, it's the big competition. It's a state fair type competition where they bring the animals out and they check the animals for whatever criteria they use to judge that animal and...

POUNDSTONE: Which is what?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Goat leanness, in this case.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PETER GROSZ: Yeah, obstinace and head butting.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Theodore the goat has been banned from future competitions, after a urine test turned up a muscle growth drug. So, if you're feeling down, keep in mind that there's such a job as goat urine tester and you don't have it.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: What was the...

POUNDSTONE: Now, is it two different things? Is it the person who gets the goat urine, who gets the goat to pee in a cup and then somebody else analyzes it?

GROSZ: Well, it used to be, but with the economy...

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: And what's the name of the goat? Is it Barry Baaaands?

SAGAL: Theodore.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: What's its name?

SAGAL: No, it's Ralph Paaaalmeiro.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Maaaark McGwire.

SAGAL: Maaaany Ramirez.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: That's the litmus test for what humans are doping is if you can make a goat-sounding noise with their name.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

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