Lightning Fill-In-The-Blank

Apr 28, 2018
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and Brian each have two. Negin has three.

BRIAN BABYLON: Ah.

SAGAL: All right.

UNIDENTIFIED CROWD: Ooo.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: It's a situation.

SAGAL: All right. We have flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go second. That means, Brian, you're up first. Fill in the blank. During arguments this week, the Supreme Court's conservative majority appeared to show support for Trump's blank ban.

BABYLON: Travel ban.

SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Police charged Alek Minassian with intentionally driving a van into a crowd of pedestrians in blank.

BABYLON: Toronto.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Republican Debbie Lesko narrowly won a special congressional election in blank.

BABYLON: Kentucky?

SAGAL: No, in Arizona this time. Saying they're hoping to appeal to underachievers, a town in Texas announced it would be holding a blank 5K run next week.

BABYLON: Beer?

SAGAL: No. A 0.5K run.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: During a tweet storm this week, rapper blank called Donald Trump his brother.

BABYLON: Kanye.

SAGAL: You bet. On Thursday...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...A new study found that eating blank helps reduce stress and improves memory.

BABYLON: Weed brownies?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Quite the - well, dark chocolate. Maybe you can balance it out. After he was...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Attacked by a bear during a camping trip...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Last year, a Colorado man decided to spend this vacation in Hawaii, where he blanked.

BABYLON: Got attacked by a bear?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Where he was attacked by a shark.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Oh, I meant, like, bear-shark.

SAGAL: No, you didn't.

BABYLON: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Dylan MacWilliams's run-in with a bear happened just three years after he was bitten by a rattlesnake while hiking.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Geez.

SAGAL: A rattlesnake, then a bear, then he's, like, to hell with that. I'm going to Hawaii. He was boogie boarding, and he was attacked by a shark.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's not so much that he's unlucky. He's obviously delicious.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Brian do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Brian got three right for six more points and a total of eight. And Brian takes the lead.

BABYLON: For now.

POUNDSTONE: There you go.

SAGAL: All right. Paula, you're up next. Fill in the blank.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: This week, President Trump's long-time lawyer Michael Cohen said he planned to plead the Fifth in the blank case.

POUNDSTONE: Stormy Daniels.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Mike Pompeo was confirmed as the next blank.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, secretary of state.

SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...President Trump expressed a willingness to possibly preserve Obama's nuclear deal with blank.

POUNDSTONE: Iran.

SAGAL: Right. On Thursday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...A jury found blank guilty of three counts of sexual assault.

POUNDSTONE: Bill Cosby.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman in Ohio was sentenced to a year in prison after she failed her drug test by blanking.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I don't know. She used someone else's pee.

SAGAL: You're almost right. What she did was she swapped her sample with somebody else, but that other person was also tested positive for drugs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, Amazon launched a service offering deliveries directly to your blank.

POUNDSTONE: Car.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, tens of thousands of people gathered at the stadium in Arlington, Texas, for the 2018 blank.

POUNDSTONE: Baseball something.

SAGAL: NFL draft.

POUNDSTONE: Son of a...

SAGAL: After getting in a fight with his...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After getting in a fight with his mom when she canceled...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...The family trip to Bali, a 12-year-old boy in Australia blanked.

POUNDSTONE: He flew to Bali by himself.

SAGAL: That's exactly what he did, Paula.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Very good. Yeah. After his mom...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: After his mom canceled their vacation, the boy took matters into his own hands. He stole her credit card, booked himself a flight and hotel, rode his razor scooter to the airport...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...And was in Bali by the end of the day.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He could have stayed there even longer, but he posted about the scam on Instagram. His mom saw it, booked an immediate flight out to get him. She didn't even have time to pack a bag. Her only carry-on was a 6-foot-long scroll detailing the terms of his grounding.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This kid really wanted to go to Bali, so he went.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. He wanted to go to Bali. Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Probably so he could be a panelist on this show.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula...

POUNDSTONE: I'm going down to Iowa City tomorrow.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: And I'm happy about it.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, Paula, you can tell them you had six right, 12 more points, total of 14, slipping into the lead.

SAGAL: All right, then. How many...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many correct does Negin need to win?

KURTIS: Six, Negin.

SAGAL: Here we go, Negin.

POUNDSTONE: Lot of pressure.

SAGAL: This is for the game.

NEGIN FARSAD: OK.

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a third federal judge ruled against Trump's order to end the blank program.

FARSAD: DACA.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...It was reported that former president blank spent time in intensive care to treat an infection.

FARSAD: George H.W. Bush.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Ahead of their meeting next month, President Trump said that North Korean leader blank's actions have been, quote, "very honorable."

FARSAD: Kim Jong Un.

SAGAL: Right. On...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Wednesday, automaker blank announced it would stop selling sedans in the U.S.

FARSAD: Volkswagen.

SAGAL: No, Ford.

FARSAD: Oh, snap.

SAGAL: This week, a woman in Texas was shocked to spot three blanks running away from a Cajun restaurant.

FARSAD: Coyotes.

SAGAL: Crawfish.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Following calls for increased transparency, social media site blank shared their censorship guidelines with users on Tuesday.

FARSAD: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Florida police reviewing a man's dashboard...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Camera for proof that another driver had cut him off found that proof and also blank.

SAGAL: Of a meteor falling.

SAGAL: No, no. It also - it found proof that he was right about the traffic accident. But also, they found footage of that man robbing a store three hours earlier.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So he was involved in a crash on a road in Palm Beach. And this guy told police his dash cam would prove that he wasn't at fault. They watched the footage. They agreed. But they did find him at fault for breaking into a beauty supply store with a baseball bat a few hours earlier.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Negin do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, she got 11 points, which was close, Negin.

FARSAD: Oh.

SAGAL: Congratul-eh (ph).

KURTIS: But look at Paula. She's our winner.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.

POUNDSTONE: Look at that.

SAGAL: Paula, Paula, Paula, Paula.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Doesn't happen often. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.