Lightning Fill In The Blank

Apr 21, 2018
Originally published on April 21, 2018 12:17 pm
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Sure can - Mo and Helen each have 2. Maz has 3.

SAGAL: All right. We flipped a coin. Helen has elected to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. During a press conference on Wednesday, President Trump said that he would walk out of a meeting with blank if it wasn't fruitful.

HELEN HONG: Kim Jong Un.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Senator Tim Kaine said he would vote against blank's nomination to become secretary of state.

HONG: Mike Pompeo.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Slide Fire, the largest maker of the controversial firearm accessory known as blank, announced it was shutting down.

HONG: Bump stocks.

SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...An island-wide outage left over 1.4 million people on blank without power again.

HONG: Puerto Rico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Kendrick Lamar became the first rap artist to win a blank.

HONG: Pulitzer Prize.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After an investigation that lasted almost two years, Minnesota law enforcement announced no criminal charges will be filed in blank's lethal overdose.

HONG: Prince.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Firefighters in Indiana were unsure of what to do after...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A woman brought in her blank.

HONG: Her corgi dressed like Kim Jong Un?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Close.

HONG: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Her pet raccoon who'd gotten really stoned.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The women had arrived at the firehouse in a panic saying that her pet raccoon - who has pet raccoons? - had gotten really high on someone else's weed. And no, she's not sure whose weed it was. Why are you asking?

(LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: Well, a high person - a stoner has a pet raccoon.

SAGAL: Firefighters attempted to calm the woman down, eventually got her to head home to let the little guy sleep it off. Fortunately, marijuana overdosing is not fatal for raccoons. In fact, it's kind of great because when you're an animal that eats trash, anything can be a munchie.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got 6 right. That's 12 more points. She has a total of 14, which is healthy.

SAGAL: Well done, Helen.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right.

HONG: Healthy.

SAGAL: Mo, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Justice Gorsuch sided with liberal colleagues to strike down a law regarding the deportation of blank.

MO ROCCA: Undocumented immigrants.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following the arrest of two black men in one of their stores, blank announced it would close 8,000 locations to hold racial bias training.

ROCCA: Starbucks.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Miguel Diaz-Canel became the first non-Castro president of blank since 1959.

ROCCA: Cuba.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...A judge rejected Pharma bro blank's request to serve out his jail time in a minimum security prison.

ROCCA: Martin Shkreli.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Portions of a 500-year-old Scottish castle were closed to the public this week after they were taken over by blank.

ROCCA: Ghosts.

SAGAL: By a, quote...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: "...Very angry badger."

(LAUGHTER).

SAGAL: On Monday, Des Linden became the first U.S. woman to win the blank since 1985.

ROCCA: Oh, it was a marathon.

SAGAL: It was a marathon where?

ROCCA: I'm going to say that it was a marathon in Boston.

SAGAL: It was.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It was the Boston Marathon.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Des Linden. A new study released Wednesday found that over 40 percent of Americans have less than $10,000 saved for blank.

ROCCA: Retirement.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, scientists in Singapore shocked the world by unveiling...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A pair of robots that can successfully blank.

ROCCA: Oh, that can successfully clean?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. These pair of robots can successfully assemble Ikea furniture.

HONG: What?

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Researchers programmed the robots to put together Ikea's solid pine Stefan chair after taking a few minutes to analyze the manual and arrange the pieces. The pair got to work and in under half an hour had it completely assembled. It is pretty cool. However, they're a ways to go before the robots can beat us. Let's see them put together IKEA furniture while simultaneously ruining their five-year relationship.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: How many pegs were left over, though?

SAGAL: That's the question, though, isn't it? Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Listen to this - he got 6 right, 12 more points - tied with Helen at 14.

SAGAL: All right.

ROCCA: That's interesting.

HONG: That's a very interesting...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many, then, does Maz need to win?

KURTIS: Six to win.

SAGAL: Here you go, Maz. Here we go. This is for the game. After reaching a settlement with the National Enquirer, former Playboy model Karen McDougal is now free to discuss her alleged affair with blank.

JOBRANI: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Of course. On Monday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...The U.S. and Britain jointly accused blank of cyberattacks.

JOBRANI: Russia.

SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Recep Erdogan announced that blank would hold presidential elections a year earlier than expected.

JOBRANI: Turkey.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Passengers are praising the cool head of Tammie Jo Shults, the pilot who landed a blank flight after one of its engines blew.

JOBRANI: Southwest.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman in Louisiana was surprised when she returned home to find an intruder blanking.

JOBRANI: An intruder blanking - eating dinner at her house.

SAGAL: No. Well, close - sitting in her bathtub eating Cheetos.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the CDC warned that the blank outbreak tied to romaine lettuce had spread to 16 states.

JOBRANI: E. coli.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, former first lady blank passed away at the age of 92.

JOBRANI: Barbara Bush.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a report from the Australian Broadcasting Company...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Many blanks have difficulty pronouncing the word Australia.

JOBRANI: Presidents of the United States?

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Tremendous country - tremendous.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Huge, huge, huge country, Austria.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: I'll go with Donald Trump.

SAGAL: No, it was actually - the answer is Australians.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to the ABC, citizens of Australia have struggled with the pronunciation of their own country's name for almost 80 years. Some people say Orchelia (ph), others say Austraya (ph), and no one can agree even on where the differences came from. From now on, Australians are advised to go with the country's true name, Prison England.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Maz do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: He won with 15.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Maz. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.