Everyone Gets a Smiths Song: Happy Valentine's Day!
We know it's a little early, but News Intern Sara Wood has listed her favorite Smiths songs for the most romantic time of the year.
Johnny Marr and Morrissey: Musical love at first sight. The Smiths provided us songs with equal amounts of love and loathing. And like any good thing, jealously and bitter stubbornness tore them apart (Marr: Morrissey, why won't you listen to me? Morrissey: Marr, why do you keep playing with other bands and side projects? I thought we were monogamous!).
Why should we only get two emotional options for Valentine's Day (love or hate)? Why can't we consider all emotional and romantic stages? The Smiths provide us with these options for this special or ambivalent or confusing day. Here are Smiths songs for everyone for Valentine's Day!
If a double-decker bus crashes into us/to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.
If you can't look into your beloved's eyes and say this, it's probably not love.
For flirts. Oh, there's my Attractive Crush, he's offering me a ride after my front bike tire failed! What, you want to take me out, Attractive Crush? How could I possibly be seen in such attire?
Attractive crush looks at you, wind blowing through hair (Morrissey hair) and says: It's ruthless, it's gruesome that someone so handsome should care. (Drive away in a convertible or if it's the 1980s, a lawn mower.)
The theme song for every beautiful underdog in history. A good song to loop as you wait for the phone to ring. That's not going to happen, is it? Please stop staring at the phone and soak every pathetic thread of your existence in this song.
At first you weren't sure what to call it. A little time passes, you think to yourself, This is serious. I could do this. You look up and you hear I love you. Oh wait, aren't you afraid of commitment? Uh oh. OK, so inch slowly backward and don't be honest, say it back, because thank you is a blaring exit signal, and you don't want to make it seem like you're exiting. Never return calls.
The relationship is toast. Put on red lipstick you bought for a Halloween costume two years ago. Dance it off in front of your bathroom mirror, but pretend you are in a dance hall wearing heels and a young David Soul buys you a drink.