1:36 pm
Tue January 18, 2005

Dairy of a Newborn

The pitter-pat of tiny feet is one of two new sounds in the Hill residence. The other is the distinct sound of scribbling coming from the crib.

Wilmington NC – [Click the Listen button to hear David's commentary.]

Nothing could have prepared me for what I found in my newborn son?s crib while changing the sheets. It seems Julian has been keeping a diary. I?m just as incredulous as you: for example, where in this house did he find a working pen? But there are things in there only Julian could know, so I have to believe it?s real. For those of you who are still skeptics, let me just read a few excerpts.

Day One: Whoa! That was the most amazing thing I?ve experienced in my life! Okay, it?s the only thing I?ve experienced in my life, but whoa! I?m far too tired to record all the details today, but I?ve committed every last sensation to memory and will write them all here when I next awaken. Now I must sleep.

Day Two: I?ve this feeling something important happened yesterday. Oh, well. Today?s big news was definitely the circumcision. I can?t really tell what was done down there. I trust it?s not permanent. Well, at least I?ll always have my umbilical cord.

Day Four: My environment seems to have changed. I spend pretty much all my time in the company of two giants, ?Mommy? and ?Daddy.? Mommy?s role is clear: she is the source of my sustenance. I need only bite her and hunger for me is no more. Daddy has, as far as I can tell, no practical applications. Of course it?s possible I?m just not sucking hard enough. The hair makes it hard.

Day Seven: Okay, now my umbilical cord?s missing. I?m sure I just misplaced it due to being so busy. Here is my list just for the next hour: Eat. Pee. Poop. Poop again in the middle of my diaper change. Bathe. Cry. Sleep, but just a little. Cry more. Really cry this time. Sleep and pee at the same time. I wonder, can I sleep and cry at the same time? Must try tomorrow.